British expats

This article http://tinyurl.com/2eav7m cracked me up. Here is a short exert from it...

Honestly, every single expat I’ve ever met is the same; hunched at a bar in a stupid shirt, at 10 in the morning, desperately trying to convince themselves that they are not alcoholics, that the barman really is their friend and that it’s only 11 hours till bedtime.

...and this article about a research report by a doctor http://tinyurl.com/6e9vpr

He described their lives as "thin, simple, shallow and superficial" and found that many were foul-mouthed, insular and suffered from a lack of identity. Dr Damer, who received more than £30,000 in government grants for his research, concluded that a large proportion had alcohol or emotional problems and were obsessed with sex. "The 'community' is riddled with malice, slander and mutual exploitation," he wrote.

He maintains that people broadly fall into two categories - "the creators and movers" and "the watchers and spectators". When those in the latter category move abroad, they suffer. "If you have a thesis you want to write, or are otherwise creative, you'll probably fare much better abroad," Prof Gardner explains. The spectators, on the other hand, are going to run out of things to stimulate and occupy them.

I knew a lot of that type of expat when I was with Lottie's Daddy. A big crowd of them revolving around the two or three British expat pubs. These pubs tend to look like they have been lifted from a skanky area in Britain and squeezed in between two Spanish shops, flags and all. Honestly, if you want British patriotism, come to Spain.

Sometimes this crowd would hold barbeques which were tedious to say the least. The men would get as drunk as is humanly possible and spend the evening circling the drinks table like animals. The women, generally far better behaved, would sit amongst themselves and make small talk. It was like being at a school party in which the boys didn't want to be seen communicating with the girls. That was my social life; British pubs and rubbish BBQs usually ending badly with a heavy handed drunk to deal with. I'd guess that at least 50% of this crowd was alcoholic and a lot of them would be in the pub every evening and often during the day too. The conversation was often dull and childish, bitching and back stabbing was commonplace and people with talent and ambition were few and far between.

I have to say, on the whole, I am ashamed of the British abroad. The Costa Del Sol has been ruined by the Brits who created British villages instead of living amongst their hosts. The only drunk and disorderly behaviour I have witnessed in Ibiza has been by British expats and holiday makers. One day a British family walked past my shop, choosing which restaurant to eat at and finally settled on Bar Peralta. They stood out like sore thumbs with their fat and red marked flesh, skimpy clothes and baseball caps. Very soon after sitting down to eat, an argument started and the father threw his beer all over one of the daughters. The daughter then stood up, shouted and swore, and pulled her strappy top down to reveal her dirty bra and fat belly. Then she had a fight with her brother/boyfriend in the street, told him to 'f' off and spat at his feet before storming off. Not to mention the steaming drunk British lad who was taken to hospital while I was there with Lottie. He'd been in the West End and had half his face taken off with a bottle.

I'm now completely detached from that boring alcoholic crowd, apart from the few nice ones. I'm now well integrated into a traditional Ibicenco community and wouldn't be seen dead in a British expat pub as I think they are an insult to the Spanish and a mark of Britons' refusal, in general, to integrate. The irony of it is, the people who converge on these places and stick to their own tend to be the ones who complain the most about the lack of integration of immigrants in Britain! Bloody hypocrits.